Saturday, November 14, 2009

I'm Still Here

I try to keep my Facebook status current. I try to support my friends by posting comments to their status. However, I have neglected my blogging responsibilities. I am on target to become a grandfather in May. I have wanted that for a while but the feeling of saying it out loud makes me feel old. I have always said that a parents main responsibility in life is to raise future fathers and mothers. Even though Clay is not there yet, I sense that I am coming to the end of my main mission in life. There is a sense of freedom, nostalgia, remorse and pride. I feel pride that our children are awesome believers, friends, citizens, and future parents. Nostalgia fills my head as I recall all the little steps along the path. Each memory is special. As the Aborigines people say, "when this life is through, all you leave is your story". I love telling my story so far because it is filled with those little moments as a parent and husband. I feel a touch of remorse when I think of the things that I would have done different, if I had known then, what I know now. Is that wrong? I don't know. I love my children just the way they are. If I had handled somethings differently to teach more self-discipline, would they be less compassionate? If they were more analytical in their life skills, would they be less creative? never mind about the remorse. They are too special to take a chance on changing anything. But I do feel freedom coming. Freedom to play with babies and give them back. Freedom to get'em all jacked up on mountain dew and cotton candy and send'em home. Freedom that their development into future parents is not my responsibility. But, it is gonna be so much fun to watch.
So...I'm still here. The best is yet to come. All the players are uniquely qualified to fill their roles. My with the grand kids. I can do that!

1 comment:

  1. Daddy, are you prepared to endure my wrath after you get my kid all jacked up on Mtn Dew and cotton candy? :) Mmmm, the sweet freedom of being a grandparent. Well said, Papa J. Well said. You are going to be so good at it. I can't wait to watch you and Mommy become Papa J and Nonna! Keep writing. :) I love to read your words.