Sunday, May 23, 2010

Golf Clubs

I am a Golfer.

Were I a Hunter, no one would be surprised if I had several rifles and shotguns. If I were a Fisherman, would anyone even look twice if I had 6 or 7 fishing rods. Why, then, is it so suprising that I have several sets of golf clubs?

Early in my law enforcement career, my hobby was competitive revolver shooting. I reloaded about 500 rds a week, travelled to competions all over the southwest, and acquired several firearms. No one, I cared about, said I had too many handguns. This was an expensive hobby. After several years, I stopped competing.

At some point I focused more of my energies on softball. I eventually owned several, high-end, DeMarini bats. Not once did anyone on the team say,"We have too many good bats". These were the tools that our teams needed to be competitive.

As I got older and more brittle, I looked for other competitive outlets. My wife was by my side through all these activities. I started working on my golf game. I played as often as I could. Why then was she surprised when, I started acquiring golf clubs. I bought cheap clubs, then built custom clubs, then bought proline clubs, as my game progressed. At one point, my wife exclaimed,"How many sets of clubs do you need?".

There are 2 or 3 golf bags in every room. I tried keeping them all in one room but Donna complained that we couldn't use the room. So...I spread them around. This reduces the impact on the household and provides a common theme that increases flow through out the interior design (I read that some where). If this all makes perfect sense to you....welcome to the fraternity. I probably saw you at the HP Byron Nelson Championship this week. The only people at the Byron this year were Jesuit High School students and parents(thanks to young Jordan Speith, 16 yr old high school golf phenom who became the 6th youngest golfer to ever make the cut in a PGA event), and serious golf enthusiast. Anyone else who attended was there for business or the party.
So..why does someone need this many sets of clubs?

Today...I discovered the need that everyone will understand......

When you are watching TV... and you look down on the floor in the middle of your living room to find an, albeit small, snake, it sure is handy to have a 3 iron within easy reach. I'm not sure how he got in, but I am sure that he is out....thanks to "Mr. 3 wiggly". Proof also that there is still a good use for a 3 iron in a modern golf bag. A rescue or hybrid would not have been the right tool for the job. A 7 wood? Forget about it! The 3 iron...unloved, unappreciated, but needed.

I'm Beef....and these are my tips for those who live in wild west.


  1. If it were my husband--the fishing hook, wouldn't have caught it, and the rilfe, would have blown a hole in the floor.......haha. Arrrgh, I hate snakes!!

  2. DADDY. OMGosh. I would have DIED!!!!
    (Big, huge shudder)

    Whew. Okay.
    Loved this post. Loved it. Especially the part about how the golf clubs throughout the house create a pallet of design that increases the flow... Fabulous, dahling.

    And I especially love the part where you destroyed the intruder using the 3 wood. Destruction of such creatures is Biblical. Seriously. It is.

    Good work.

  3. Um. Who's the Asian friend posting comments in a language we can't read? I mean, that post could say ANYTHING! Remember that time you emailed me entirely in French? You're adorable.